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Writer's pictureLezbigay Together

The First Fertility Consultation: 10 Questions to Ask at Your First Visit

Updated: May 1, 2023


Thanks to the homework we were assigned prior to our first consultation with the doctor, we were ready to go when we signed onto our meeting. But there is a reason people say "hindsight is 20/20." Looking back, there were a few questions we had wished we had asked during that first meeting that would have ensured a much smoother process than what we had experienced. I hope this post today will make things a little easier for someone else going through a similar journey. Today I will provide some guiding questions to ask your doctor during that first visit.


Questions to ask your doctor:

  1. What type of treatments or services do you offer?

  2. How much do the different treatments cost?

  3. Do you take my insurance?

  4. Do you provide any payment plans in case our insurance does not cover the cost?

  5. What is the process for getting a donor?

  6. What are some lifestyle changes you recommend before treatment?

  7. Will you look through the donor's profile before the procedure?

  8. What tests do you recommend we get done? (Genetic testing, blood tests, etc.)

  9. What is the success rate of the different treatment options?

  10. How do you decide which treatment is best for me and my partner?


What type of treatments or services do you offer?


Not all fertility clinics offer the same treatments or services. If you were not able to see what specific treatments the clinic offers through their website, it is important to ask this at your first visit. Even if you were able to find it on the website, it's best to have it clarified at the appointment in case the information is not up to date or not accurate on the website. My wife and I knew going into it, that we would not be able to afford some of the more advanced treatment options if our insurance did not cover it so we needed to make sure they did offer IUI.


How much do the different treatments cost?


If you googled the different fertility treatment costs like my wife and I did, then you will notice that there are different price ranges. For example if you google the cost of IUI right now, multiple websites will pop up; all with different price ranges. They range anywhere from $300-$4,000 which is a pretty big difference especially when you are paying that per cycle. Ours fell into the $600 range and that did not include the cost of the donor sperm. It is important to know exactly what your fertility clinic's costs are and if you are able to afford it. Make sure to ask follow up questions such as:

  • Does this include ultrasounds and blood work?

  • Does this include the cost of donor specimen?

  • Does this include hormone medications?

Do you take my insurance?


As I mentioned in the post "Choosing a Fertility Clinic," fertility insurance coverage is different from state to state. Even if you did your research with your insurance company and know your insurance should cover the cost, it is essential to make sure the practice takes your specific insurance. Also some procedures or treatments may be covered but others may not so it helps to know what exactly is being covered so you are not taken off guard by an unexpected bill. The doctor may not know the answer but will refer you to someone in the clinic who does. If you find out that insurance does not cover the cost then you will ask this next question:


Do you provide any payment plans if insurance does not cover the cost?


Do not panic if you find out your insurance does not cover the cost of your procedures. Many fertility clinics offer payment plans or programs to help pay for the costs. Again your doctor may not know the specific plans or if they do have plans, but they will refer you to someone who does.


What is the process for getting a donor?


There is more to the process for getting a donor than choosing the right one for you. Our doctor explained that his fertility clinic only worked with two cryobanks in the country so this narrowed down our donor options significantly. He explained the different things we should look at before choosing a donor, such as CMV status and genetic history. He then referred us to someone in the practice who could describe the process of shipping the donor. We needed to choose and ship the donor specimen in a certain amount of time so that it would be ready for insemination. It helps to know this early on so that you are not scrambling to get the donor specimen to the facility before the procedure (which is what happened to us and I don't recommend that level of stress!).


What are some lifestyle changes you recommend before treatment?


Your doctor will recommend certain lifestyle changes prior to beginning the process to help increase your chances of conceiving. This may include: stopping smoking and drinking, changing your diet, taking prenatal vitamins etc.


Will your look at the donor's profile before the procedure?


I included this question based on personal experience. I had assumed that this happened before our first cycles, but this was not the case. It took 3 cycles before my doctor called me in a panic to tell me that my donor had a genetic condition that I had not been tested for. This was an absolute nightmare (I will talk more on this later because this is a whole story on it's own). It is important that you and your doctor look over your donor's profile together to see if they are the best fit for you.


What tests do you recommend we get done?


Your doctor will explain the importance of different testing options with you. They will discuss with you the benefits of genetic testing and blood work that should be done before beginning the process. They will also discuss testing for CMV status which will help you choose a donor. They may discuss other testing options with you after reviewing your medical history as well.


What is the success rate for the different treatment options?


Understanding the success rate of the different treatment options helps you and your partner be more realistic about your expectations and decide which options might be best for you. All the treatments have different success rates and they can vary from clinic to clinic. Do not be afraid to ask them about their own personal statistics as a facility and as a doctor.


How do you decide what treatment is best for me and my partner?


You and your partner will want to understand how the doctor decides to move forward with your treatment. Your doctor may choose a different course of action than what you and your partner discussed or expected and it will help to understand why.


ASK, ASK, ASK


The biggest advice I can provide is to not be afraid to ask questions and do not limit your questions to the first visit. Make sure you continue to ask throughout the process. The more questions you ask the smoother and more comfortable you and your partner will be with the process.


References


Fertility consultation: 7 questions to ask at your first appointment. Carolinas Fertility Institute. (2022, February 21). Retrieved April 22, 2023, from https://carolinasfertilityinstitute.com/fertility-consultation-questions-to-ask/

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