Postpartum depression (PPD) is a term you hear frequently when going through a pregnancy. You will read a lot about it in pregnancy and postpartum care books and in labor and delivery courses prior to birth. The doctors will tell the pregnant individual and their partner the warning signs of PPD. Awareness for both parties is extremely important, but in my case and in many others, awareness for friends and family is crucial.
I was one of the lucky ones; my postpartum depression did not last very long and it was not as severe as so many others. But there were several instances in my first few weeks postpartum where I should have asked for help. My anxiety, insomnia, and sadness was weighing heavily on my mental health along with the crushing feeling of not being a good enough mother. There were even thoughts of self harm and suicide at some of my lowest moments. My pride got in the way of asking for help and sometimes an individual may not even realize they are experiencing postpartum depression; this is why it is so important for friends and family to be aware of the signs of PPD and how to help.
PPD affects many new mothers, but it can be difficult to know how to support someone who is going through it. Here are the warning signs and some tips on how to help a loved one with PPD.
Disclaimer: I am not a medical professional; I am writing based on our personal experiences, research, and recommendations from our labor and delivery nurses and OGBYN.
Warning Signs of Postpartum Depression
Persistent feelings of sadness or hopelessness
Loss of interest in activities
Difficulty bonding with your baby
Feelings of guilt or worthlessness
Changes in appetite or sleep patterns
Thoughts of self-harm or suicide*
*If you're experiencing thoughts of self-harm or suicide, it's important to seek help right away. These are serious symptoms of postpartum depression and should not be ignored.*
If you're experiencing any of these symptoms, it's important to seek help from a healthcare professional. Postpartum depression is a treatable condition, and with the right support, you can start to feel better. Don't be afraid to reach out for help – you're not alone!
Tips on How to Support a Loved One with PPD
Tip 1: Educate yourself
Learn as much as you can about PPD so you can understand what your loved one is going through. This will help you be more empathetic, supportive, and help you identify the signs if your loved one is reluctant to seek help. Learn more about PPD here.
Tip 2: Listen without judgment
One of the most important things you can do is to be there to listen. When I was experiencing feelings of worthlessness and guilt, I was so nervous of telling anyone for fear of being judged or being thought of as a bad mom because of my feelings. Let your loved one know that you are there for them and that you are ready to listen whenever they need to talk.
Tip 3: Offer practical help
Offer to help with household chores, cooking, or running errands. This can be a huge help to someone struggling with PPD. The expectations for being a good mother can be debilitating. We see mother's being shamed for having a messy house and not making homecooked meals everyday, but this expectation is not realistic for everyone, especially new parents. Taking the load off new parents and a person with PPD can make all the difference.
Tip 4: Encourage self-care
Encourage your loved one to take care of themselves by getting enough sleep, eating well, and engaging in activities they enjoy. Offer to help watch the baby so they can go for a walk, nap, or take a much needed shower.
Tip 5: Check in regularly
Keep in touch with your loved one regularly to see how they are doing. Let them know that you care and that you are there to support them. A check in text once a week can be a quick way to remind them that you are here for them if they need you and that you are thinking of them.
Tip 6: Be patient
Recovery from PPD can take time, so be patient and understanding. Your loved one may need time to heal, and that’s okay. Keep checking in and offering help after the newborn stage because PPD can last months or even longer for some moms.
Remember, postpartum depression is a serious condition, and it can be overwhelming for those who are going through it. By being there for your loved one, you can help them feel supported and less alone.
References and Additional Resources
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