Many women will experience a miscarriage in their lifetime. Approximately 10-20% of pregnancies result in a miscarriage. Experiencing a miscarriage can be devastating and can cause overwhelming feelings of isolation and grief. If someone you know has recently experienced miscarriage it is important to know how to support them during this painful time.
Here are some tips on how to support a loved one who has experienced a miscarriage.
Tips on How to Support Someone Who Experienced a Miscarriage
1. Offer a listening ear
It is important to let your loved one know that you are there if they need to talk about their experience and how they are feeling. They may not open up right away or at all, but give them the space they need and remind them that you will be there no matter what.
2. Validate their feelings
It's important to acknowledge the pain and grief that comes with experiencing a miscarriage. Let your loved one know that their feelings are valid and that they can take as much time as they need to grieve their loss.
3. Be Present
Sometimes your presence is all that is needed to help support a loved one who has experienced a miscarriage. Offer to spend time with them whether it is simply sitting together in silence, going for a walk, or doing errands together. They may not be ready to or want to express their feelings and that is okay. Sometimes it helps just to know that they are not alone.
4. Be mindful of triggers
Certain conversations or situations may be triggering for your loved one. Try to be mindful of these triggers and avoid them if possible.
Things not to say:
"Are you going to try again?"
"When are you going to try again?"
"Everything happens for a reason."
"It wasn't meant to be."
"You are young you can try again."
These statements can be harmful to someone who is still grieving the loss of their pregnancy.
5. Offer practical support
Offer to help with errands, drop off meals, help with the other kids, and household chores. At this time doing day to day activities may be difficult and a loved one could use some help while they grieve.
6. Don't forget about the partner
Many times people forget about the partner that did not physically experience the miscarriage, but the partner is also grieving. Make sure to offer support and check-in with both partners. Let them know that you are there for both of them if they need it.
Conclusion
Many women will or have experienced a miscarriage in their lifetime. This can be a very painful and isolating time, but it is important to let your loved one know that they are not alone and there is no set way to grieve a loss. Be patient, give them space if they need it, and offer them support both with your presence and with helping them with everyday tasks.
References
How to support someone after a miscarriage. How to support someone after a miscarriage | Gundersen Health System. (2023, April 27). https://www.gundersenhealth.org/health-wellness/be-well/how-to-support-someone-after-a-miscarriage#:~:text=The%20most%20important%20thing%20you,begin%20sharing%2C%20if%20they%20want.
Staff, H. B. (2022, September 30). How to support someone through a miscarriage. Happiest Baby. https://www.happiestbaby.com/blogs/parents/miscarriage-support
Supporting someone who has had a miscarriage. Tommy’s. Together, for every baby. (n.d.). https://www.tommys.org/baby-loss-support/miscarriage-information-and-support/support-after-miscarriage/supporting-someone-who-has-had-miscarriage
Supporting someone through pregnancy loss. The Miscarriage Association. (2023, May 3). https://www.miscarriageassociation.org.uk/your-feelings/supporting-someone-through-pregnancy-loss/
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