As I portrayed in my earlier post, "A Year in Review: Our First Year as Parents," parenthood is not easy. Your sent home that magical and terrifying day with a newborn and not one single clue on what to do. My wife and I spent almost two days confined in our bedroom with our daughter because we were so nervous to move her to a separate part of the house (silly I know); as if we could continue protecting her like I had for so many months inside me. So motherhood is already difficult in itself, but then there's the LGBTQ edition that comes with its' own set of challenges. But with the many challenges it also comes with the most rewarding and beautiful experiences.
One of the biggest fears I had going into motherhood was that fact that my wife and I could no longer hide in plain sight. We had the privilege of being able to hide our sexuality as we both come off as friends when we are out in public. We are what you would call "femme lesbians;" which basically means we portray ourselves on the more feminine side of the spectrum. We were also never the type of couple to hold hands, kiss, or really show any affection in public; fear again a huge factor in this decision. We were trying to be invisible to anyone and everyone who would have a problem with our mere existence.
Then my beautiful daughter enters the scenario. There is no hiding. Our little family is out in the world for all to see whether to love or to pass judgement on. Unfortunately, there are still many people out there who are prejudiced against our version of a family. This can lead to awkward, uncomfortable, or even hostile interactions with other's whether it's at the store, the doctor's office or even in your own neighborhood. We have been lucky not to have experienced the latter, but there have been plenty of awkward and uncomfortable situations we have found ourselves in. From the side-eyes as we walk by, the whispers, to the hesitant "Oh's," when we are asked who the mom is and we explain "both of us are." One of my favorite moments, was when we were still in the hospital and one of the hospital staff mistook my wife (who is the same age as me) as my mother because that seemed more plausible than two moms.
Despite all of this, I have come to the conclusion that if anyone has any negativity or hatred towards my loving and beautiful family then I feel nothing but sadness for them. Because at the end of the day my daughter is going to grow up in a loving, supportive, and accepting home where we will help instill values of openness, tolerance, and diversity. A home filled with giggles, warmth, and an endless amount of love.
To all the moms out there, no matter your race, your religion, your sexuality, we hope you had a wonderful and relaxing mother's day.
Thanks for reading!
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